My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize