Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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