I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
