did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
