is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
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