I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize