Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
