I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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