He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
