Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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