I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
