i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize