I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
