so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
