i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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