Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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