Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
