College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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