Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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