watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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