So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
