someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
