rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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