There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
