Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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