Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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