I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
