Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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