The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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