I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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