I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
