If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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