why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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