I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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