I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
