Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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