I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
