Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she told me i tasted like america
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
