ADVERTISEMENT

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  Both

  Fav 18 2334 923

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.

  Fav 8 2367 3257

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.

  Fav 15 5268 1474

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.

  Fav 7 5198 1373

  share tweet
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.

  Fav 5 2739 885

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love

  Fav 21 3975 1049

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out

  Fav 20 3937 1201

  share tweet
  

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.

  Fav 12 2488 937

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter

  Fav 1 707 390

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.

  Fav 2 672 359

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood

  Fav 6 580 399

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (573): View more from Missouri

  The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.

  Fav 6 1145 388

  share tweet
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in

  Fav 1 661 329

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds

  Fav 1 48 29

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!

  Fav 0 29 23

  share tweet
  

Randomize