dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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