remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
