wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
