doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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