Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
