I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
