well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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