he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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