apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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