Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
