one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
