I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize