I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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