I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize