i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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