We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
