Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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