I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
