I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
