Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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