Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
