I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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