Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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