Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Can you bring me the toilet please
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
