shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
