you guys were way drunker than both of me
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
