So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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