Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
