Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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