I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm getting married
To pizza
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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