who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
two words: eviction party
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
