i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Come see our sink grown plant.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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