Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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