You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
