he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize