I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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