I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
