erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
