Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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